Career and Life Planning Guidebook for Medical Residents

The Medical Relationship “As a physician spouse, I decided to stay at home with our young children. I felt I was missing out, and I was always searching for a way to simultaneously have a family, get my husband through training, and have my own career. I teased myself constantly, wondering if the right job was out there, just one Google search away; and I wasted hours looking at jobs I knew I wouldn’t apply for. My fear of missing out on the perfect job blocked me from finding the joy in what I was currently doing with my time. When I changed my thought to “I’ve made the best decision for our circumstances,” I began to feel differently. Learning to embrace your decisions rather than fight themwill bring you peace. – Lara McElderry www.marriedtodoctors.com F I E L D N O T E S Step 2: What do each of you bring into your relationship? Now you can turn your attention to what’s going really well in your relationship andwhat could use a littlework. Take a moment to answer the following questions. You may wish to do this individually first and then share and discuss your answers together. 1. What are your general strengths and your weaknesses as a couple? 2. How is your communication overall? Rate from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most effective communication possible. 3. How is your individual mental health and howdoes that affectyourrelationship?What helpfulorhurtfulthoughts and actions do you contribute to the relationship? 4. Let’s target any problem areas. Which of the following is true for you or your spouse? 1. You stress about money 2. You feel lingering resentments 3. You shut down or shut your partner out when you’re mad 4. You yell or snap at the other when you’re mad 5. You feel conflict about intimacy. 6. Add your own here: This is incredibly hard, but important work! You won’t get everything figured out or solved just by doing these exercises. This information is meant to be a starting point. It’s up to you to decide where you go fromhere,whether it’s tryingout newcommunication strategies, reading a book together, or inviting in a specialist to help you improve your relationship. If you’re experiencing some big challenges right now as a couple, sit down together and watch the Ted Talk by award-winning therapist Susan LAdler called “Three Steps to Happier Relationships.” See it here or find it through her website at www.susanladler.com. Then decide your next steps on how to improve your communicate with each other. 75 WWW.PHYSICIANCAREERPLANNING.COM