Career and Life Planning Guidebook for Medical Residents

SECTION I: T MINUS THREE YEARS Relationship Assessment Step 1: Identify the roles each play in your relationship. Are you a: Physician/Physician couple? Physician/Professional couple? Physician/Homemaker couple? Physician/Other? Which of the following terms best describes your relationship? Are you: A. Anegalitarian-typepartnership?One inwhichyou both strive to view each other equally, hold each other’s professional pursuits in equal weight, and distribute home management duties equally? B. A conventional relationship that follows tradi- tional roles which are viewed as different but complementary? Such as one partner runs the home and cares for any children while the other supports the family financially? Now answer the following: 1. Are you both happy with those roles, or would one of you like to change roles? 2. Does it feel like your roles have equal weight, or is one considered “more important” than the other? 3. Given your role, what are your general responsibilities in your relationship and home? Culturally, our society is moving towards gender equality, which can often lead to a sense that an egalitarian relationship is the default “best” relationship, whereas people who embrace a more traditional set of cultural values might think a complementarian relationship is the “best.” Look at your individual circumstances to figure out what would serve you best as a couple. Is your current system working well, or does it need some tweaking? Additionally, now that your residency is coming to a close, consider if your spouse, who used to fill a more supportive or home-based role, may want to get back into the job market, pursue their own education, or receive more support in home management. This shift would necessitate a change in how duties are divided. Finally, set aside a block of time to clarify and get specific about how duties will be split up now and what you’re working toward in the near future . Get a brainstorming session on the calendar so you won’t forget! It’s super, super important. Once you have agreed upon who will do what, the challenge really comes when you implement your strategy into real life. Figuring out if your system works will take a bit of trial and error, but be flexible and work as a team. Try to view this process through a curious, “let’s see if this works” lens, in order to curb frustration. Ifyou feeloverburdenedwithyour roleand responsibilities, no big deal, go back to the drawing board and brainstorm fresh ideas. It’s nobody’s fault; it’s just a problem that needs a solution! Did you know?? Current studies report that 40-50% of all first-time American marriages will end in divorce? Despite cultural perceptions, medical couples are actually less likely to divorce than non-medical couples. Medical marriages have about a 25% rate of divorce, although the prevalence of divorce is higher for female doctors. Two of the most commons reasons for divorce include communication problems and stress. CAREER AND LIFE PLANNING GUIDEBOOK FOR MEDICAL RESIDENTS 74